The "central profession" was actually the banker, because I exerted it for 5 years. I was only an industrial salesman for 1 year after completing my training, since I was in the wrong company. I also had a taxi / car rental company for 2 years. It was only for this relatively short time, as the order volume fell inexorably downwards after 1½ years.
The first phase of supervision was spectacular. It started with a visit of my counselor in my apartment, which I had rented at that time, the 70-sqm ground floor apartment with garden. The counselor said, after talking to me a bit, I should go to a doctor and take psychiatric drugs. Then he left again. Since I now had a counselor, I tried to reach him by telephone because of a withdrawal of 50 €, which did not work, for the cost of living. Unfortunately, he did not answer the phone. I hoped the counselor would clarify with the bank, which is why I did not get any money at the ATM or at the bank counter. I left a message on his answering machine, but he did not respond. Maybe he was on vacation, I did not know. Furthermore, I waited for the return call of my counselor, who had just been given to me by the local court. Everything then turned to the following: I could not buy food for Christmas, it was just Christmas time, so I had nothing to eat on Christmas and had to starve. (This may be reminiscent of what we are experiencing in Greece at the time, people are at the cash machine, and are almost not getting any more money.) And all this only because a withdrawal of money was complicated and the counselor was completely indifferent. In the new year, I got a surprise visit from my counselor without warning. He had two uniformed policemen with him and one of his young female employees. At first I did not open my apartment door, since I was busy, I was just eating lunch. Then the unwanted visitors came to my terrace door through my garden. Well, I had to open, of course, they saw me through the terrace door and window. I was so surprised when I opened the door that I held the knife and fork still in my hand, since I was just busy eating. One of the policemen took the cutlery from my hand. I was not allowed to finish eating. I was then treated unkindly by these people and taken to the hospital, where I should go speak to the head office of the psychiatric, closed department.
Youth and the occurrence of a mental illness at the age of 18 years
Since some friends and a relative, I call them my lecturers, have asked me to write about how my current situation occurred and how I suffered from a mental illness when I was 18 years old: I grew up as a young man like everyone else. I had leisure activities like the others. A scout group, swimming at the DLRG - Deutsche Lebensrettungsgesellschaft - and at a sports club, where there were several departments: tennis and karate. So, I had a balanced life and was busy at all times.
I took my fate as a little boy myself, when I announced the termination of my membership at the Scouts. I was with the Scouts for a long time, even gave a scout promise, which contained to always be a good scout. For this I received the lowest rank among the scouts: Wölfling. Therefore, I received a tie in a certain color and a scout shirt. Coming back to my termination: There were too many boors in the Scout group and more and more came along. I was quite unhappy with this. The "chieftains" of the scouts did not even take any drastic measures during the group hours. It was no more fun for me. There was only one way for me and this was me announcing on my own initiative in a scout group hour. "I'm not going to continue here this way. I am terminating my membership."
Otherwise, I consider scouts as a meaningful invention which is important for young people. Structure and sense of togetherness are conveyed to the scouts. In the ones organized by the Scouts you have to be tenacious, but there is also a lot of joy.
I find the thesis of a black belt carrier in karate from my Karate club "Scouts are only the imitation of the former Hitlerjugend" unsuitable. Amongst the scouts, by the way, I reached the title of "Wölfling", the lowest rank, while in Karate I at least got to the third belt in the hierarchy, the orange belt. I didn't miss the scouting hours. I still also had the swimming. When swimming, a gold medal was awarded to me during a championship. The best part was tennis. I played tennis with my father and with all the youth of the TVM - Tennis- und Turnverein Memmingen. Through occasional demands, I always got a little bit up the ladder. So, I got to know the tennis youth, but of course I also knew them through the team games. Here I played for the second junior team and the third men's team. The team players, whom I now all knew, however, wanted to play only the matches and competitions. Later no longer and the complete TVM tennis youth collapsed.
These social and sporting pursuits made me a happy young man. When I was 17, 18 years old, I exchanged my sporting activities with only one sporting activity, with fitness training or, as one says, body building. In body building, where I always warmed up first with ten minutes of cycling, I trained all the muscles of my body. After a few months, I had a fairly large triceps, which, as is well known, shaped the arm. I was slim and had no gram too much. I looked good in photos, as my whole body looked muscular. I must admit, I, like the others who were in the gym as well, took protein substances. That was called crash weight. A good-tasting protein powder mixed with milk. Crash-Weight existed in different flavors, such as banana or vanilla. So far now for fitness training. As a 17-year-old, I finally had sex. I could not wait. Through sport, as occasionally still tennis and fitness training, I was good in bed and my first girlfriend shouted from time to time during sex. That made me happy and satisfied. I had to be with my girlfriend every day, I loved her so much. Perhaps the loud moan, for which she had to cover her lips herself from time to time, also came from the fact that she was a very good singer, I do not know. Unfortunately, we broke up after a year. So, I was very sad for a long time.
My second girlfriend I had a few years later when I was working at a bank. I took a week off work and drove with the Kreisjugendring Neu-Ulm with my buddy to London. London was interesting. When I came back from a nice holiday, I had a little contact with a very nice girl who also had been on the London trip. One day we looked at vacation pictures together, and I gave everything, so I gave myself dear and clever. It immediately sparked. Then we called each other almost daily.
This relationship also broke up after about a year. I could not and would not understand it at that time. But it was better, for she wanted a friend who suited her even better, whom she had did not find, I had inquired about it myself. My first girlfriend once mentioned in a dispute: "You are too mature." This was probably also the case with my second girlfriend.
My third and for the time being last girlfriend I met at a birthday party of a buddy. But I did not really get together with her until I had been paired off in a discotheque in Neu-Ulm by a good friend. This relationship with her was like in a fairy tale book. She had horses, a nice mother, and a nice father. We did not love each other that much in the beginning, but that then evolved. My girlfriend, her parents and I played cards once a week. I loved that. Her father, a retired graduate engineer, occasionally gave speeches in the gigantic company he worked in. In his spare time, he wrote in some association about the post-war Germany in the 1940s. My girlfriend's mother pulled a joke from time to time while playing cards. She said about me: "Think fast - pull slowly." The nice woman was very educated. She had a 1.0-Abitur, a doctor's degree, and she was a general practitioner.
But now back to the time when the relationship with my first girlfriend was over because of continuous disputes. In the following time, I was not feeling well and I listened every day to CDs of my favorite rock band GunsN'Roses. I had a lot of CDs from Guns N'Roses, there were also at least twenty live CDs of them, which I had all. One day I looked I looked a little closer at a little reference on the cover of a LP (Guns N'Roses - Lies, which I also had). In a corner of the cover it said "Can Axl - the singer of the band - help you." His postal address was also stated. "Okay," I thought to myself, "I feel terrible, I am writing Axl Rose." As I was feeling mentally ill, I lost the letter to Axl Rose and so it never made it to him. The whole thing was the "ignition" for later, my life formative actions, which concerns the writing of letters to higher personalities. My cousin, a successful insurance salesman, says I'm doing this well. He is right, because without a letter to the mayor of my hometown a year ago, I would never have gotten the apartment I live in now. I had to wait for an apartment at Memminger Housing for six years, until I got an apartment. Even the letter to Dr. Angela Merkel, the Chancellor, was all right. My father said that it was not written bad at all. It did not really matter for the real issue, namely to keep my driving service Schubert somehow afloat, but still for the reintegration of my life insurance, which I had terminated for the driving service. At the time, I brought the letter of Dr. Angela Merkel, that is, her reply, as well as the cover letter from me and a letter from the Memminger District Court to my lawyer, and thereby recalled my life insurance with supplementary disability pension from a large, well-known Bavarian insurance company.
The profession of industrial salesman and change to another profession:
During my activity as an industrial salesman or during my apprenticeship, competition among the employees was common.
I always stood back up when colleagues attacked me. However, when I was first taken over by my employer for a year after my apprenticeship, I fell into a department where worst conditions prevailed and caught a mental illness. I to some extent lost it. Of course, I did not do anything to anyone in the company. I could not cope any more with the circumstances. My workroom was in the production and warehouse. I did not have a view out of the window. No sunlight, only neon lights as the lighting of the office. Colleagues mocked me or did not talk to me. Of course, there were also nice colleagues, who were decent and friendly, in my company, it was indeed a large company. But they were busy in departments with which I had to deal with, at most, at three holy times. My area of activity included only a data entry into the PC. I had nothing to do with two-thirds of my working hours and squatted around bored. I sat in a small room with only shelves for folders attached to the wall. No greenery, only a void space. In the Feng Shiue one says: energy must flow. I lost energy. And also, when I saw my colleagues. How they deprived me with their indifference was intolerable. There was nothing to talk about on the telephone. In this activity, nothing could be spoken about. This work, which my superiors had allowed me to do, was not to be surpassed in monotony. The whole thing then eight hours a day as a trained industrial salesman. You could listen to a radio in this office, so you could hear a bit of music or the news. One did not need to think about human working conditions. After a few months, my perceptions were going crazy. I could not think any more. I was in a state I did not want to wish for anybody. My father then took me to the hospital for safety. I told the doctor that I was being boycotted by my colleagues. In a way, I was right. I was marginalized, and I was given a job that no normal person could handle. I also told the doctor that I was "steered" by the singer of a rock group, whom I liked to listen to from time to time and when I was no longer feeling well at work.
I could not express myself correctly anymore and said that I will live as Axl Rose, front man of Guns N'Roses, says in his speeches during the concerts. My doctor said to me during my hospital stay: "This is not possible, you are not controlled by Axl Rose." Because of this imagination, under which I lived at the time, that Axl Rose was controlling my life, be it positive or negative, and because of the way I told the doctor, I had to stay in the hospital for a long time. The hospital was a disappointment. Sedative music such as classical radio or a conversation with a conversational psychologist would have been appropriate. Exercises of all kinds would have had to be carried out. Exercises that would have contributed to mental and physical fitness. These exercises are also seen as countermeasures in a deterioration, and thus physique and a natural train of thought are improved.
There was also a lack of discussion together about what is of interest to the individual patient and the prospects for a future. Likewise, jokes are a good medicine. In a healthy environment - doctors and nurses who behave normally, it also makes sense for the patient to get well again.
It is clear that they will not send everyone to the archery every afternoon at 2.00 pm. But one or the other can be the patient and he can work with it. A doctor should recognize what the particular patient needs. In conversation, a doctor can get to know something like this.
It is also important to work in a good environment for the person concerned, the person concerned may have a bad apartment. Then the patient can be shown housing offers, which the doctor or the supervisor can find out before a conversation. A change in housing can be healthy. But back to me. I just think I did not need this illness. Fortunately, when I was healthy again, I could start working as a bank clerk in a bank ...
At first, however, I obtained a score of 1.9 in a police cessation test. As a young man, one does not know right away which profession to take. I talked with my parents and with my friends about which professions were good. I was not sure if I should apply with the police.
The recruitment test at the police consisted of a basic fitness test, language test and also the athletic performance was examined. I was sent the test result with a grade of 1.9. Sometime later, however, I got the news that up-to-date enough trainees were already hired. My application could not be considered despite the good recruitment test. At a later stage, I would have the opportunity again to be questioned and to be hired for a further training as a police officer.
Why me? I wondered at the grandiosely overpowered action. Why do not people who have hurt my whole life come into question? Why are not people asked to be judged, who are clear to harm other people? Why does the court not face the truth, and does takes people in who need to be educated properly? If you have a healthy attitude, you do not need supervision. The people, who only make ordinary people to patients for profit or from self-interest, who may only be a bit disgruntled, should themselves be sent into a treatment and in some cases even cared for. Those who were then made patients, by doctors, colleagues, and family members, are then treated wrongly, treated too long, even though it is no longer necessary, and then come to a chronic disease where it is difficult to get out again. One has to take a hard stance against these perpetrators, whom I like to call the "lawless". The people who do not like their neighbors in this story are found in doctors' offices, hospitals, in families, or in the workplace.